Why I want to go back to Aussieland

I had a pretty sick pregnancy, and even til the 9th month, I had massive morning sickness all the time. It came to the point that while my tummy was growing, the rest of my body parts were shrinking. After giving birth I was lighter then the weight I was BEFORE I fell pregnant. At some point in the pregnancy, I couldn't eat meat, it made me sicker. All this while finishing the last semester of university.  All I wanted to do, was to go back to Singapore and see my mum & dad, and be around friends and be back in my bedroom. But I knew nothing would be the same again, I was married to an Australian, and about to have a baby. I convinced my husband to uproot his whole life to move back to Singapore for me. And so sometime after Jacob's 1st birthday, we packed up our lives and shifted back here. Mind you I was in the middle of a very difficult & expensive PR application. Which I redrew the moment we knew we were going back to Singapore. On hindsight, I should have stuck it out a few more months and sorted that shit out. But then I found out my grandmother had passed away, and I was done done done. Home was all I wanted.

So here we are back in Singapore. And again with the visa issues, but for my husband this time. I have been working as a business development manager for a good friend's Digital Marketing company. Til my last day last friday. Come 1st July, I will be Director of Digital Marketing for a french start up. Also digital marketing but leaning more in augmented reality and specialized apps. Pay is much better, and holidays are better, and I'm definitely blessed to have been given this job. But I'm really tired. To be honest, pre-jacob, I was a producer for Moving Bits, and the working hours were insane. But I loved it. So I figure I never really thought about how hard I was working. Only now, back here, being a working mother, I realize, there is absolutely no work life balance. I answer phone calls from clients on the weekends and find myself doing proposals at 1am in the morning. It was a big reality check when I found myself constantly telling jacob: Not now, mummy's busy.

Coming back to Singapore, I see busy office/bank/business folks, busy busy busy working all night. I assistance produced corporate video for a huge company and we wrapped about 9pm. I asked a gorgeous american lady in her fancy D&G shoes if she was heading home, but no, she was due to  receive a skype call from a client in the USA at 10pm. She predicted she'd be home about 1am. I asked if she stays so late very often, she said yes. The office was amazing, it's the kind of office on one of the high floors of raffles city, overlooking fantastic views, with glass offices, fancy pantry, delivered office lunches for everyone. The kind of office I'd love to work in. But after speaking to this beautiful american lady. Definitely not the type of lifestyle I want. Day after day, I go to retail stores, I visit takeaway places and restaurants, supermarkets, and I never fail to notice how nobody takes pride, nobody is happy. Even down to the smallest thing. Like dispensing an ice cream in macdonalds. Here they mostly do a half ass job, and shove it at you. (Yes there are exceptions, yes there are some very lovely happy people working in mcD, thats's why i used the word MOSTLY) Yesterday night my mcflurry was all piled to one side, the other side was empty. But in Aussie they do it fast and they fill it properly, and they give it to you with a smile. And do you know why? Because they are actually paid decently in Australia (thank you minimum wage). Working in Mcds in Oz is not a dead end job, like it is here in Singapore. Here working in Macdonalds or any fast food place or even a cashier in the supermarket is considered a dead end job, and the pay is rubbish. That's why there is no pride, because they are not happy! How we can be the most expensive country in the world and have no minimum wage is beyond me. How we can have the highest paid PM in the world but we have so many struggling singaporeans is beyond me. How we can be expected to pay so much for "subsidised government housing" for a 99 year lease in a shoebox, when I can pay the same for a lovely 3 bedroom house in Australia, is well and truly beyond me.

My heart breaks for the old aunties & uncles who are still plodding along every day, working at 70 because they cant afford not to. Those still having to push a cart around a hawker centre, cleaning tables. I tend to return my dishes to them after I finish eating and tell them thank you, and I've always felt sorry for them, but one particular old lady, looked a whole lot like my grandmother, and I can't even imagine my little old granny pushing a cart around collecting dishes to survive.

Yes I am proud of my country, yes it has so much to offer, but it's becoming a rich man's playground, and a tourist hub. Everything is too expensive. My 2 year old's school fees are over a thousand dollars a month.

So now it's all about saving, and this time I'll use a immigration specialist to apply for my visa for me. And once my visa comes through, I'll go back to Australia. No I would never give up my Singapore citizenship, I will always be Singaporean. My family is here,  my roots are here, my childhood memories are here. But for us, Australia will be the better place.

Australia will be home.

Picnic at Perth Park

Missing Launceston's beautiful scenery and weather. This was from some time last year that we took a walk down to the park near Perth river and it was absolutely wonderful. Singapore is fantastic with it's city life and multitude of things to do. But it lacks natural beauty and calm peaceful locations. We had a beautiful time, even found a home made bong which someone had stashed among tree roots. That's something your never gonna come across in Singapore lol.

dependability

You know how they tell you blood is thicker than water, in theory that may be true, but recently I've realised that bad blood still runs within. So much wrong and so much hurt when situations like these occur. The horrifying selfish RUDE traits of someone you trust and look to for dependability simply because they are your elders. Tell me you wouldn't be annoyed, when a relative asks you for help, you take the time to plan and work out the solution. Then they decide to ignore your phone calls, tell their maid to tell you they're busy. And you never hear from them about it in the end. To add to that this person is blood. Why would you ask me to do it if you decided within a day that you didn't want my solution for you. Following other MULTIPLE incidents that another family member mentioned to me, I have decided against any more requests, from any extended family members, who aren't my direct family. Direct family referring to my parents, spouse, children, grandparents and godparents... I am sorely disappointed in the behavior that this person has exhibited. Call me petty or whatever, I don't really care. I've noticed as we grow up and grow into our careers and get tangled up in family, things like spending time with my husband and little boy start to take priority rather than going to some hip new joint with a friend. I start thinking more about what school my child should be enrolling in and what to invest in and joint bank accounts and property purchase and whatnot, rather than who is saying what about me. This post was prompted by a sequence of messages sent by this family member, harassing and lecturing me over my lack of reply. So it's okay for you to be condescending and rude to me when I don't reply. But when you tell your maid to tell me your busy, and refuse my calls, and never call me back, and never say anything about it like it never happen, then THAT'S OKAY ? thanks but no thanks.

So here's to LETTING GO of the toxic in my life, and embracing how lucky I am to have an amazing husband & son, and supportive parents who love me no matter what, my grandparents and godparents and sibling who love my little boy to bits. And the few friends who, despite my absence and constant cancelling due to Jacob needing a nap or throwing tantrums or being uncooperative, were understanding and continued to stay true to me, THANK YOU, thank you for being wondering and understanding and so giving. I love you guys <3

edge of tomorrow

I am not a fan of Tom Cruise, but I do love Emily Blunt. The edge of tomorrow was sort of a weird version of groundhog day. When the movie first started I thought it was gonna be one of those typical 'explosion explosion explosion' movies and nothing more. But it turned out pretty good. It even had an element of comedy to it which surprised me. SPOILERS UP AHEAD so STOP reading if you haven't seen the movie.

I loved how they developed the movie as TC kept dying and re-spawning at the same point every time, and I found it hilarious how Emily blunt kept using him as a reset button. The movie doesn't go too deep into any character development, not even TC. We see a little bit of insight into TC & EB as they spend a little bit of time together, (not that she remembers anyway). I felt like I was just thrown into the movie with no back story, but I suppose no back story was really needed. The Aliens were pretty awesome but more robot like than alien. Predictably, when Emily Blunt said that she lost her 're-spawning powers' when she landed herself in hospital and got a blood transfusion, that TC would end up in the same situation to give a difficult 'twist' to the situation after being able to constantly reset every time they got into trouble. You have to be paying attention to realize the reason why this started happening is because TC died covered in the blood of the alpha that he killed. Emily blunt was a hard ass in this one and she definitely worked out for this movie, you can see she's pretty ripped. That was all the good bits. Now the ending, I did not like. I felt like it built and built and built up to the climax and then it all just ended so quickly. Like it simply just happened and then it was over. And conveniently he died covered in the blood of the alpha again and it took him back all the way to the start, no one remembered him, everyone was alive again, and they had defeated the aliens. Yup. Shitty ending if you ask me. But the majority of the movie made up for the lousy ending, so I still say it's definitely worth a watch.

I do but I dont.

You know how everyone tells you growing up is not fun and they all claim they want to go back to school? I see why now. Being an adult means bills bills bills and all the things you never thought about before, like how EXPENSIVE it is to buy a house in Singapore. We have recently been on the look out for a 4 bedroom condominium so Jacob can have his own bedroom. But boy are they expensive. We had someone from the bank come down and evaluate our house and even with the low housing market, we still got a nice 3 mil figure. But let me tell you, we've had a few people through our house and the best offer we got was still 2.75 mil which is not acceptable by my parent's standard, considering all the new 4 bedroom condos are smaller than 2000 sq ft, which is the size of our current 3bed + maids room. Don't shoot me for saying this but I'm missing our house in Australia, with the beautiful back and front yard, and its spaciousness and most of all I miss the 4 seasons. As much as I was dying to come back, I have seen the people whom I wanted to see the most, and I've even started working again. Working is extremely fulfilling and I love it, even more so because I am working for a dear friend who already knows my work ethic and trusts me. Having absolutely no formal training in marketing, and only the experience of working as marketing executive in a club for a few short months, I've learnt so much from my amazing boss who is patient and kind. But that's me, my dearest husband is still waiting on the ICA for his LTVP, and to be honest it's moving a lot slower than we expected. 

On the bright side Jacob's Singapore Citizenship settled quick, and the government even gave us a baby bonus which was a big help with getting started, but a man needs to work to feel good about himself, and Chris gains no satisfaction from hanging out at home everyday while Jacob goes off to school and I go off to work. We have finally been given the approval (in principle), I've made the payment, and chris has to finish some medical examinations. But we have still no idea if we have been given the LTVP or the LTVP+ which doesnt seem like a big difference, but basically that little '+' sign, is the difference between Chris being able to get a letter of approval to work, or having to apply for a work permit with a prospective employer and proceeding to MOM to get it approved (case by case basis). the + means he wont be counted within the company's foreign work quota, NO + means he WILL be counted in the foreign worker quota and I cannot recall if or if not they will have to pay the worker levy to hire him. BIG PAIN I KNOW. Also the residential time is also significantly longer with the +. Family or no family the ICA makes the decision. This decision will also be the thing that might have to send us packing back to Australia, and I am half half about this. 

I do but I don't. God help me I love working, but I want to be able to buy a lovely house with a yard for a reasonable price. The dream is to get a lovely 4 bedroom with a front and back yard for less than 500K. And in Australia that is more than reasonable. But anyway, that's my musing of the day. I'm really tired. Work is lovely but oh-so-demanding. Okay time for the baby's bath. Til later xxx 

Jacob's first birthday party, our back yard, launceston - tasmania - Australia Jan 2014 

habitual

I really need to keep the habit of blogging, its actually pretty good for the soul. I have just been so busy, and so tired. Times have been a bit rough on my family, as you know, my dad's office is based in Thailand, and KL, and what with the bad political situation and the bad economy, he is actually back here working with resorts world. So our finances are pretty low at the moment, we finally have an appointment with the ICA for hub's LTVP, and hopefully the LTVP +. Now this silly visa, has taken so long to finally get to this point, we have had to constantly extend his short term visa, and that requires us to go down to the ICA, and queue for ages, to get his passport stamped for a 30 day extension. You can get the first extension online IF you have been here under 89 days, following which is hey ho, off to the ICA you go. So lets cross our fingers and hope that they grant the LTVP +, otherwise I suppose we will have to get advice from MOM as to how to proceed for hubs to work. Would have thought having a Singaporean wife and child would make it easier, but no not really. So friends, I have happy to dole out advice and procedure should anyone need any info on how to apply for the LTVP and how it works.

Work has been going well, more clients under my belt, very busy as usual. Very tired as always. Today, I decided to learn to be grateful. Yesterday I had the misfortune of having a huge blowout with my parents, and it wasn't pretty. Personally I feel you shouldn't run your kid into the ground to make a point. Thank you mom and dad for making me feel like shit. BUT on my part, I suppose I shouldn't keep pointing fingers, and be grateful for everything I have been blessed with so far, and sticking together as family would be the ideal situation. I am TIRED of all the fighting and bickering and it is taking a toll on my little, or not so little brother. He's 20 but still mummys golden child. Anyway, so from today, I am determined, to be grateful, for my parents who have given me so much, for my brother, and mostly for my gorgeous husband and son. All aside, I am happy to be home. I dont have to keep proving myself to everyone, I can just be me. I am no longer a social butterfly, and my true friends have kept the faith. The once friends who have weedled out of my life because I am not fun anymore, or cant go out randomly anymore, or party anymore - I am a mother, and a wife, I have responsibilities. And I dont believe in dumping my child on my maid or mother and going out. Once in a while my lovely mother looks after my darling so hubs and I can go on a date, but no sorry, i will not do otherwise. So dear folks, thank you for making it easy for me, and walking out on me, because I know the people left truly care for me, and understand my situation. I am happier with my husband and son, than I have ever been with my superficial lifestyle of parties and splurging money on rubbish. I wish you all the best, and I pray you may find true happiness and peace like I have with my family.